


Reaching for you, even now.

by seiauton



Series: Our Farewell to Arms [2]
Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Don't copy to another site, Eiji's standing up for himself, Family Drama, Fix-It, Lots of drama, M/M, Manga Spoilers, Or try to anyway, but we'll fix it boys, support the poor boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-21 06:49:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17038805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seiauton/pseuds/seiauton
Summary: Eji has returned to Japan, but his problems have only just started. His family wants to know why he ended up in the hospital, and then Eiji receives a call from America, bearing disastrous news. Though, well, maybe not as disastrous as they could have been...





	Reaching for you, even now.

**Author's Note:**

> This one-shot is part of a series but can be read without knowing the previous part.  
> MANGA SPOILERS, as well as spoilers for the Banana Fish side-story _Fly Boy, in the Sky_ , are present. (The latter are restricted merely to Eiji's family situation.)
> 
> Thank you for supporting the previous one-shot. Please consider leaving a comment to let me know what you think! Comments motivate me greatly to continue working on content for this series.

Home was different from what he remembered and much different from what New York had been like. Eiji had missed his family while outside Japan, but he hadn't had much time to focus on these feelings. Now, however, he had nothing to do except miss his friends in America. He of course spent time talking to his family, to catch up, but it wasn't easy. Eiji didn't want them to worry too much about him nor did he want them to know more than they absolutely needed to know about the exact circumstances of how he had sustained the injuries he was still recovering from.

His silence angered his mother and saddened his sister. It pained Eiji to see them like this, but there was no choice but to keep them in the dark if he wanted to protect them---and himself, from their reactions. 

However, his mother sat down to his opposite during breakfast one morning, her eyes stern in her usually soft-looking face. Eiji regarded her silently before slowly putting down his chopsticks. 

“Ibe-san told me you got shot. Let me see it.”

Eiji and her had talked on the phone, after the surgery had been performed successfully and Eiji had been up to hold a full-fledged conversation again. He had lied to her then, had told her it had been an accident.

But, Eiji didn't blame Ibe-san for telling her the truth. Eiji blamed himself for lying instead. It had been a bad idea, albeit it appearing to him a reasonable choice then.

“Mother, it's not as bad as--”

“As I think?” she finished for him. She put her arms on the table and leaned closer, her brows pinched together and eyes piercing into his. Eiji noticed himself stiffen under her close inspection. He leaned back.

“It has been weeks, and you are still in pain. You won't let me see, won't even let me change your bandages for you. Do you think I'm stupid? I know what happens in America, with these guns, and criminals running the streets. They show it in the news often.”

Eiji swallowed down a response. There was no point arguing about this with her and, admittedly, he wasn't making the best impression right now, made it impossible to convince her to see his side. 

“You changed,” she said. She said it like she regretted the fact. “You think you are independent, but that's not true. You are an adult now, but you still need help sometimes. Why won't you let me?”

Eiji looked down on the table, wondering if she was right in saying this. Eiji knew he couldn't survive on his own, not here and certainly not in America. But, he had people willing to help him. He had relied on Ash during the two years he had stayed with him, just like he had relied on Bones and Ibe-san and everyone else. 

“I'm sorry.” He met his mother's gaze again, saw her stern expression still. “I understand, and you're right. I've been pushing you away when I shouldn't have. I'm thankful.”

_But..._

“But there are things I have to do still. There is someone I have to help, too.”

His mother didn't seem to understand right away. When she did, she straightened her back, her hands tightening into fists.

“I forbid it.”

“Mother--”

“You heard. You aren't going back there, ever again. I forbid it.”

“I did hear,” Eiji replied calmly. “But I'll still go.”

His mother rose to her feet, looming over him. Eiji remained seated.

“You are selfish,” his mother said, and this made Eiji tense visibly. “You care more about these criminals than you do about us. What are your sister and I going to do if you die? Your father isn't with us anymore. We never had much money, but we never complained. I saved money for you, so you could go to the States. And now you leave again, maybe forever, just like that? For those punks? When we need you?”

The mention of his father opened a wound in Eiji's heart, caused a dull ache that he had barely yet learned to live with. It had been three years ago, not long after Eiji had had the accident. They had known it wouldn't be long now, and they had been right. His father's death had left them in a difficult situation not only emotionally but also financially. Eiji's mother hadn't started to work until they had needed the money to survive. It had been hard on all of them, but especially on her. Eiji knew that. 

“Mother...”

But his mother wasn't finished. “If they kill each other, that is fine by me. But I won't let them kill you. They tried to make you one of them, didn't they? You are so attached to these gang members.”

Eiji too rose from his seat now. His palm was pressed against the table, in parts to support him, in parts because his hands were shaking. Now, he was the one looming over his mother. She wasn't very tall, a fact that allowed Eiji to tower over her even if he didn't pull himself up to his full height.

“They are my friends!” he retorted, his voice controlled but growing in volume to match his turmoil. “They protected me, they did!”

“And?!” His mother's voice turned shrill. “What good did it do?” She pointed at his stomach, the bandages beneath his clothing, the wounds from being shot, from surgery. Eiji tensed, ready to lash out at her, but she didn't give him the chance to. 

She was quicker to speak. “Did they teach you to shoot a gun, too? Did they make you--” Her eyes turned glassy, as though she only now realized something--“Did they make you shoot at someone? Did you shoot-- Eiji---”

Eiji froze, and the sight, the confirmation, made his mother turn pale. Had Eiji not hesitated, maybe he could have convinced her to believe a lie. Maybe he could have explained the circumstances, the need to protect Ash. But now, she would never understand. She would never allow him to leave her watchful eye ever again.

“You _idiot!_ ”

“I didn't have a choice!” he yelled out, at last. He saw his mother struggle to hold back tears, saw them forming in the corner of her eyes, glistening. He noticed how pale she was, and he wanted to end this argument right then and there. But, he couldn't. He didn't know what his mother would do if he let her believe matters were solely back or white. This wasn't easy on him either. No, he felt as though he was close to breaking out into tears, too.

“I didn't harm anyone!” A lie. 

“It was in self-defense!” Another lie. 

“I _had_ to!” And that, at least, was nothing but the truth. Eiji had needed to shoot. He had needed to save Ash, to protect him when he couldn't do so himself. When he was in Golzine's grasp, in Foxx'--

To Eiji, it had been the only possible choice. It didn't make him a bad person, wanting to protect Ash from these devils. If only Ash had come with him to Japan. Why wasn't he coming? Why?

“So you didn't kill?” his mother chimed into his thoughts. “Didn't try?”

“ _No!_ I--”

Then, without warning, she slapped him across the face. Eiji was so stunted, in such shock, he didn't know how to respond. He doubted there was anything he could say anyway. His chest constricted painfully, his heart was bleeding. If he wasn't able to help Ash, if just a little, what good was he? What was the point in having promised forever to him?

His mother sat back down, defeated. She said, “You won't go back. You won't leave this house.”

Then, the phone rang, distantly, cutting through the fragile silence that had formed after his mother's words, but Eiji ignored it. He barely heard it, but the insistent ringing added to his frustration, to the blazing worry that deemed all else unimportant. It prompted Eiji to curse all that wanted to distract him from the problem at hand.

Eiji swore that he would see Ash again, no matter what anyone, even his own mother, had to say about it.

His mother continued quietly, softly. It sounded wrong, yet right. “I almost lost you in America. I won't give them another chance to try to take you away from me.”

Eiji puffed out his chest, straightened his shoulders. He continued equally restrained. “I understand, but I don't regret going. There is no way I could.” He shook his head, his face a grimace of pain. “I'd rather die than never see my friends again. You'll have to kill me yourself if you want to stop me from going back to Ash.”

“You--”

Seiko, Eiji's sister, appeared between them, eyeing them with a scared expression and hunched posture. In her hand, she held the phone. She was covering the receiver, but whoever was on the other end had no doubt heard the prior commotion.

“Ehm, Eiji, it's a boy from America. He--”

Eiji didn't bother listening further. He grabbed the phone and pressed it against his ear, already rushing to leave the room. They let him. Eiji wiped over his eyes to get rid of the wetness that lingered there.

“Ash--”

“Isn't here,” came the answer. “It's Sing.” 

Eiji almost stumbled over the stairs he was ascending but managed to grab the railing in time. His heart beat fast, his throat was tight; from embarrassment or disappointment, he couldn't say. The confrontation with his mother had left him jaded. 

“Sing, I'm sorry I---”

“It's alright,” Sing interrupted. “I get it. Can you talk? There was quite the ruckus in the back.”

Eiji made it to the top of the stairs, quickly making for his room. “Yes, yeah. What's up? How is everyone?” _How is Ash_ remained unsaid, but Sing would know anyway. 

“Listen, maybe sit down or something.”

“Eh?” Eiji stopped dead in his tracks, now standing with one foot inside his room. “Why? What happened?”

“You sitting?”

“Ah, yes.” Not really, but Eiji stepped inside fully, closed the door behind him, and walked to the window where he leaned against the windowsill. He grabbed it with his free hand, forcefully pushed aside what had happened with his mother to focus on Ash, on America, instead. His worry grew by the second. 

“Just tell me, Sing!”

There was some rustling on the other end, but Sing's voice came through clear as day. “Ash got stabbed, not much before your departure. He's fine now, but--”

“ _Stabbed!?_ ” Eiji jolted, suddenly standing again and moving toward the center of the room. He didn't much realize nor care he was shouting into the mouthpiece. “You say-- He's fine? How can he be---”

Eiji cursed in Japanese. Sing was surprisingly patient with him. If anything, it worried Eiji more.

He tried to compose himself. “What happened, Sing?”

“It was shortly after I handed him your letter. He said he wanted to come with you, but my brother got to him first.”

Silence rang loudly after that. Eiji stared at the door without actually seeing it, taking a deep breath as he started to understand.

“Sing--”

“It's-- I get it. Cut it, alright? Lao wanted to protect me, thought that Ash---”

“But you--”

“Yes, but he didn't know. Listen, Eiji. The point is, Lao is dead now. Ash got him, but he got Ash good, too. I came back because … I don't even know. I found him, brought him to a doctor in China Town. He's a crook, but the hospital wasn't an option.”

Eiji swallowed, the image of a lifeless Ash in his mind, bleeding red onto the pavement. “He's … alright now? He's alive?”

Eiji's departure was already a week past. Sing's call was late. What had they waited for? To know? To know for sure if Ash---

“You know him. There is no getting him killed. But, I'll be honest, we didn't think he'd make it. Goes to show ya again how strong he is, that Lynx.”

Eiji heard the smile on the other end, and it tentatively made Eiji smile too. But it didn't last, was a mere shred of relief in the light of the news he had just received. He sank down onto his chair, feeling light-headed. Maybe he should have taken Sing's advice and sat down right away.

“I'll come back, to New York,” Eiji said. Sing was quiet.

“I know what you think. Don't try to stop me. Everyone wants to make me stop, but I'm not listening.”

Sing's pause continued long enough to make Eiji frown. He was determined. It was no use trying to keep him away from Ash, a person he cared about more than he had thought possible. He had promised forever to him, over a year ago. He intended to keep his word.

“Okay, Eiji. But, take it easy. You're still healing yourself, ya know?”

“Alright, Sing. I will. Thank you.”

“Good luck, kiddo.”

Eiji ended the call, removed the phone from his ear, and rested his hand on his knee. He grabbed the phone tightly and slumped forward. The action prompted a sting of pain to blossom in his stomach, but Eiji did not change his position. He didn't move, wondered instead if Ash was in pain as well. How bad was it? Was he getting the right medicines? Was someone there with him?

Eiji exhaled a shaky breath as he brought an equally shaky hand up to his still throbbing cheek. In Japanese, he said, “What am I going to do with you?”

It was seconds later he heard the sound of footsteps as they quietly moved away from in front of his room. Eiji breathed a laugh, wondering how much of the conversation Seiko had managed to understand. 

He'd been told her English had improved quite a lot since he'd left.


End file.
